VMA 2011 Predictions

Unlike last year, Lady Gaga isn't nominated in every category. This leaves room for some competition. I guess.....

Best New Artist: I'm most familiar with Wiz Khalifa, and I know more than one of his songs. But Thin Sean is growing on me because his name PROBABLY makes sense when he's naked. All the other nominees are hipster acts, and hipsters must die. My vote is for Wiz Khalifa.

Best Pop Video: As a member of the teeny bopper generation, I feel obligated to pick Britney Spears to win this category. However this video is a mashup of all her other videos and its just not good. Katy Perry is becoming one of my favorite artists in very small increments. But, when Bruno Mars sings, he sings only to me. My vote is for Bruno Mars.

Best Rock Video: Foster the People....because I like their name.

Best Hip-Hop Video: This has been the year of Kanye, and I'm over his hype. But I'm picking the seizure inducing All Of The Lights video.

Best Female Video: Seeing as Adele's last three albums were based on her relationship with one man, homegirl could use a little love. So I'm voting for Adele's Rolling in the Deep.

Best Male Video: Once again Grenade by Bruno Mars.

Best Collaboration: Chris Brown speaks to my soul....because I've seen him naked. Also, I like to swag out to him in my room sometimes. Look At Me Now is winning this one.

Video of the Year: I don't particularly enjoy The Beastie Boys, but I love me some NBC's Thursday Night lineup cameos.

Best Video with a Message: This is a new category, so I'm not sure what the message they're looking for is. They all seem emo in a way, and the only thing worse than a hipster is an emo hipster.

Dix Du Jour:Things That Are Pissing Me Off Today

1. Someone just moved out of my apartment building, and they're doing a construction on it during my sleep time. Today it started at 8:16 am eastern standard time. I'm not pleased.

2. I feel and look like death warmed over. I don't really care, but it still bothers me.

3. The guy who works in the library is reading Decoded, the worst book I've bought this year. I may tell him about it when I go settle my outstanding balance.

4. Last night, I had a conversation with a male friend of mine, who asked me: "Why have we never been on a date?" The answer was quite simple and I said " Because I don't want to have sex with you." Which released all his demons and he was trying to figure out why. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but apparently telling him he wasn't my type didn't suffice. Then he asked me why I talk to him. So to the people who think just because someone speaks to you it means they want you, y'all are pissing me off.

5. I placed an order online last night for the greatest t-shirt in history and I have yet to receive a confirmation email. Its a problem.

6. These brain dead assholes I'm doing my final project with.

7. My Blackberry keeps freezing while I play Word Mole and then I lose.

8. People who unfriend people in the social networking universe. This is paired with number 4.

9. My lack of a real job.

10. People who don't respond to my text messages in a timely manner. My jokes aren't funny four hours after I ask you.