Hot Seks of The Day

Timothy Richard Tebow

Leo, QB Denver Broncos, All around amazing specimen of man

Hot Seks of the Day

Eric Decker

Pisces, WR Denver Broncos

Hot Seks of the Day

Tom Hardy can invade my dreams any day.

Is That Mick Jagger In The Corner?

I cannot believe I slept on SNL for so long after junior high.

Inspired Ink...

...is really lovely, underneath it all.

Inspired Ink...

...is COMPLETELY gratuitous.

Hot Seks of the Day

Michael Jordan

Hot Seks of the Day

Chris Meloni

I Just Woke Up From A Food Coma

I also woke up in a cold sweat. I don't know if this is because I ate something spicy or if I just ate too much. Either way, I'd like to dedicate this song to every person whoever sang this, and meant it. And toast to a 20 year old Beyowulf.

It'll Change Your Life

After I got Chipotle today, I got to watch this video. I'm so ready for football season

Pre-Valentine's Day Thingy

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and it's going to be just another day for me. That is unless Vicki invites me out to celebrate her big 22. I never realized how much emphasis is put on this holiday, until I went from single to taken and back to single. However, being with someone who can't give a good gift could be a deal breaker. Ideally, we are supposed to love people for who they are and I'm not saying I can be bought, but damn it, a fruit basket is NOT a good gift. V-Day 2009 was my first single one since my senior year of high school, and I must admit, that I had a blast. I learned that you don't necessarily need a significant other to enjoy this holiday of loorve.
Before Raul, my cousin/child Stephanie spent every waking moment with me because I was around. We ran some errands by our house, and bought some flowers to bring to Stephanie's grandma. Stephanie bought a violet, as her grandmas name is Violet. I bought myself a peach rose, that I wound up giving to Grams because I didn't feel like carrying it with me. But we eventually made our way into the city, so we could eat dinner at Ruby Foo's, a sushi place. Now I must inform you that Stephanie gets rull, rull frustrated when we go someplace that people know about. A typical response to asking her to go for a cup of coffee is usually "You know this isn't good coffee right? The next time we go for coffee, I'll take you to the left nook of the Grand Canyon to this undiscovered Indian reservation, with the best coffee!". That is an exaggeration, but barely.  Ruby Foo's was super crowded. Everyone in the restaurant was all boo'd up and we couldn't resist throwing shade to all the girls who had cute dates. Not to mention that there was an impeccable Asian couple next to us catching a Love Jones. [Editors Note: If there was an Asian family like the Kardashians, I want to be reborn into that mess] I give a huge amount of credit to the person who made the playlist. We were rocking out, and being our usual soulful selves and then the song that is tentatively my wedding song came on. I would say what it is, but it's a closely guarded secret. So this year, I have a decent date lined up with myself. Dinner and a movie, you know regular stuff, because I am a basic and regular girl. Nobody is salt and peppering my mango just yet, so I'm just going to love on myself. But I refuse to give myself a hug like at the end of the Mo'Nique show.
Thanks to this wonderful snogasm outside, the delivery of my shoes has been delayed. I really wanted to wear them on Friday and Valentine's Day, but an open toe pump in the middle of a blizzard is completely absurd, unless you are Amber Rose or Posh Spice. In my attempt to pull myself together, I have decided that when the warm weather comes, I will wear heels everyday. But not like little kitten heels, I want to appear to be a good 4 inches taller than I really am. Then again I don't know why I'm pulling out all the stops on myself. After all, it is just another day.

Give Me Face!

I think this point has been blatantly obvious since the late 1990s, but reality television is intensely addicting. This week there was a slight change in my sleeping pattern, causing me to stay up until about seven in the morning. Now knowing me, sleep is probably the one thing I can do better than anyone else, simply because I am a lazy bones. I wish the world would see that I am not lazy, I am in fact resting up for my thirties, but I don’t see that happening.

Although I am a lover of cartoons, I have taken some time out from my animated roots and have spent countless hours loving reality television. Just in case you have been living under a rock for the past year or so, the baby making business is BOOMING. Who cares if obnoxiously sized families are eating through the world’s already limited resources? I sure as hell don’t because it makes for some good television. Most recently, I have taken a liking to the Duggar family…again. My relationship with the Duggars began sometime in 2007. That was when there were only 15 Duggars. However tonight, there is the delivery of the 19^th Duggar baby, and I could not be more excited…for all the wrong reasons.

The Duggars are a conservative Christian family. All the kids are home schooled. The girls don’t wear bikinis, or pants. They all dress in super essential basics. In theory, this is ideal. They want people to pay attention to their countenance. We can be thankful that they have fabulous genes, because I do not think this would fly so well had they been ugly and needed brand names to make up for their imperfections. But if I had to be reborn into a different family, it’s a toss up between the Kardashians and the Duggars. They spend their time driving across the country, doing all sort of fun things like being in plays and whatnot. One of my favorite things about the show is that we get little trivia tidbits through out the show. Things like they love pickles, or that if all of her pregnancies were consecutive, Momma Duggar would be pregnant for 13 years or something like that.

For the most part the Duggar kids are normal and healthy, but now I’m beginning to wonder when they are going to get a little spice in their lives. I really want to see a baby with like six fingers or something. On the last episode, Michelle Duggar, the woman who has delivered every single one of the Duggar children through her Super Cervix, announces that she is pregnant. She thought that she couldn’t possibly be pregnant because she’s in a later stage of life than most women who have babies. Actually, the youngest Duggar, Jordyn still has a loose neck when the pregnancy is announced.

Michelle Duggar is actually very cool. Sarah Palin wises she was maverick like this lady. Did you know that only three weeks after giving birth, PREMATURELY, to baby 19, she was at a rally to ban alcohol from local convenience stores. Well actually, I don’t agree with this, but the point is, she’s a little Viking.

Another guilty pleasure of mine is drag queens. Obviously, RuPaul’s drag race is the complete essential. If I were every half the woman RuPaul was, I’d die happy. Basically, the queens compete in weekly challenges, you know same old thing. They make their own costumes and go from men to women and are judged by a panel of judges. But it gets better, the queens in the bottom two get to battle it out one last time to save themselves. They get to lip sync. Is that not the best idea ever? Could you imagine if the world’s problem were solved by a no holds barred lip sync battle? I would only perform Mariah Carey songs. And maybe a Celine Dion ballad. The hoodrat in me would prefer a little bit of Mary J. Blige, and more specifically, Real Love. Anyway a new season began last night. I wasn’t all that impressed with the queens. My favorite got eliminated. But my next favorite is Jessica Wild, who is Puerto Rican, from San Juan. I hope she wins it all.

They even have an after show called “Untucked”. I need this person to script my life. My new secondary goal in life may be to become a Gay Icon, because that seems to work out well.