Hot Sex of Yester Decade

Sheek Louch

I Told You Before, I Have Bieber AIDS

Inspired Ink...

...knows where it came from.

Double Dix Du Jour: Twenty Albums I'd Bring If I Was Leaving Earth On A Spaceship

1. Butterfly by Mariah Carey
2. Velvet Rope by Janet Jackson
3. The Blueprint by Jay-Z
4. Baby One More Time by Britney Spears
5. Illmatic by Nas
6. 'NSYNC by 'NSYNC
7. Spice World by Spice Girls
8. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill
9. Mama's Gun by Erykah Badu
10. College Dropout by Kanye West.
11. The Time Is Now by John Cena
12. Ready to Die by Notorious B.I.G.
13. A collection of Disney something
14. Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) by Wu-Tang Clan
15. A collection of The Beatles everything
16. The Documentary by The Game
17. Capital Punishment by Big Pun (But I will take Yeaaaaaah Baby! as a substitute)
18. The Chronic by Dr. Dre
19. Can't Take Me Home by P!nk
20. Back to Black by Amy Winehouse

I Just Woke Up From A Food Coma

I also woke up in a cold sweat. I don't know if this is because I ate something spicy or if I just ate too much. Either way, I'd like to dedicate this song to every person whoever sang this, and meant it. And toast to a 20 year old Beyowulf.

Books That Changed My Life: The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Tuesday Night's Gem

If I could do this, I'd never stop dancing....ever

Dix Du Jour: My Guilty Pleasures

1. Chipotle
2. Crime marathons. Specifically Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and Lockup
3. Music Stephanie plays but I pretend not to like
4. Cyper creeping on the interwebs
5. Juiceheads
6. My Blackberry
7. Gadgets
8. Rhinestones
9. Acrylic nails
10. Bookstores

Kiddie TMZ!

It'll Change Your Life

After I got Chipotle today, I got to watch this video. I'm so ready for football season

Thanks Danielle For Lighting a Fire Under My Ass!

All too recently did I receive a wall post on Facebook saying that I have not blogged in over a month and  need to get back on my shit because it is hard to keep bicoastal tabs on my whereabouts unless I'm blogging constantly. And I agree. I've been meaning to blog, I really have been, but I've been busy suffering from a severe bout of senioritis-1. Its called Senioritis-1 because I won't be graduating for another year, so my lazyness has gotten the best of me. I wish something exciting has been going on in my life, but it hasn't. 

In all the time I haven't been blogging, I've been working on my life plan because I am once again at my wits end with this sports journalism major. I can't go into too much detail about my business plan because someone could steal my idea, and then I'd be forced to kill somebody. To make a short story even shorter, I'm going to open up my own bookstore. So if anyone is looking for a job in 3 years come find me. 

My new life plan also includes a new pet. Once Mac dies, I want a Boston Terrier puppy named Jesus Shuttlesworth after Ray Allen's character in the hit Spike Lee Joint: He Got Game. Pardon the shameless plug but it is a good movie, and you should rent it if you have the chance. Before I decided on this puppy, I wanted to raise a white tiger cub. I did some light Wikipedia work to see what I could find out about white tigers. When I think of these tigers, I think of majestic creatures that look like this:

However, since white tigers are genetic mutants, they have to be inbred. Mothers and sons, fathers and daughters, or brothers and sisters have to be mated in order for this to happen. But check this shit out. Just like humans, incest causes all sorts of crazy things to happen. So some tigers are born with kitty downs syndrome, and wind up looking like little Luis Guzman tigers. A little something like this:

Now when I first came across this pictures, I literally laughed for hours on end. This tiger's misfortune shouldn't be this funny, but look at his face. I also found out that blue tigers also exist. Who knew?

Bare Essentials of Insomnia

When I was in high school, the quintessential hood rat phone was the T-Mobile Sidekick. I was miles behind the pack and had a Motorola V3 RZR. Though I did eventually get a then coveted Sidekick, I'm not so sure that my transition to a smart phone was a healthy one. I invested in a Sidekick 3 because my Razor had been shot to shit by my excessive use. Even though, I mainly used it to argue with my then boyfriend. The back light died, then the speaker went and one night in my dorm room, I decided I needed a newer, more durable phone. We all know that cell phone companies are a racket and of course I was ineligible for an upgrade on a bogus technicality. So I took to ebay.com to find a Sidekick and when it arrived, I was very excited in a very dorky way.

My 'Kick had me addicted with the first IM. I could be reached at anytime and it was all in the palm of my hand. I liked the Sidekick because it was quite exclusive to my campus. I was one of three people who had it. With this phone, I became a texting whiz. I PBd at 160 characters in under a minute. Ringtones?!?!? Bitch please! I had a different ringtone for every person in my contacts. This was all well and good...in Springfield. I often forget that I come from an urban area where hood shit is prevalent. I came home to find that EVERYONE had the exact same phone. But I had tasted the nectar from the Smartphone tree, and there was no turning back. I dabbled in phones including a later model of the Sidekick, and when I changed to Sprint, a diet Sidekick which was more like a nemesis. I eventually settled down with my Blackberry and it is the third hemisphere of my brain. I CANNOT survive without it.

It allows me to do absolutely heinous things like draft a blog entry at 4:14 AM, eastern standard time, all for my 1 reader. This phone keeps me connected to all sorts of useless shit: Facebook, Twitter, Blackberry Messenger, AIM, Yahoo Messenger, and my necessary, yet useless email. Rarely do I use it to make phone calls, which is a sign that the tech world needs to get back to basics.

That was a completely useless and irrelevant back story about trying not to look like a sketch ball by typing away on my phone under the covers to tell a story. But I wanted my reader to know how much she has me committed to keeping our bi-coastal creeping aflame. What I really wanted to talk about was infomercials. While I'm stuck battling a slight bout of insomnia, I've been watching some infomercials. The people behind these things are brilliant.

Late at night, or in the wee hours of the morning, most of the world is fast asleep. So why advertise when theoretically every one is supposed to be in dreamland? Because these products cater to the poor sleepless souls of America. Four times this week I came thisclose to ordering some makeup to cover my unsightly under eye circles. Ironically, I wouldn't see this commercial or need this product if I wasn't up at this forsaken hour.