Hot Seks of the Day

John Krasinski

Dix Du Jour: Songs I Thought Were About Me (AKA My Theme Song)

1. Superthug by Noreaga
2. Bad Girl by Usher
3. I Can Transform You by Chris Brown
4. Rude Boy by Rihanna
5. When Doves Cry by Prince
6. Bootylicious by Destiny's Child
7. Starstruck by Lady Gaga
8. Bag Lady by Erykah Badu
9. I Hope You Dance by LeAnn Womack
10. Doe Boy Fresh by Three 6 Mafia

Some of you may be wondering, how can I have a list of songs that doesn't include Mariah Carey? I do, but that is another list for another day.

Hot Seks of the Day

Chris Meloni

I Just Woke Up From A Food Coma

I also woke up in a cold sweat. I don't know if this is because I ate something spicy or if I just ate too much. Either way, I'd like to dedicate this song to every person whoever sang this, and meant it. And toast to a 20 year old Beyowulf.

Late Night Gem

Hot Seks of The Day

Ghostface Killah

Oops...I Did That Whole Over Excited Thing Again

When you are lazy for so long, you tend to get way to excited for simple things. Yesterday, my laziness was squelched by pillows. For the past week, I've suffered through a bout of non-smoosh related back pain. So, when I got out of class early, I decided a trip to Target was in order. Normally, I love Target. I can spend hours in there, which I did, but yesterday's trip was on for the books. 

I started my Target quest with the intention of getting one (1) laundry basket, one (1) body pillow, and two (2) standard sized pillows. Instead I got hopelessly lost in a sea of red bullseyes and spent $104.08 USD on pillows and junk. While I was in the candle section, a browsin' and a sniffin', I saw in my peripherals a woman with a child trying to squeeze past me. So I moved my cart and when I look up at her, she's breast feeding a three year old. There was nothing covering the child's head, just nipple and toddler drool every where. I'm not opposed to breast feeding, I just feel that you should be modest about it. Not walking about Target casually hosting a child on your nipple. AND when I looked at her, she didn't even say excuse me or make an attempt to cover up her dirty pillows. Just when I thought that things couldn't get weirder, this child says, IN PERFECT ENGLISH "Mom, I'm done." I can't do this anymore. 

Blanyway, I got home and was so excited about my pillows. I did my laundry, took a shower, crawled into my bed and fell in love. I haven't slept that well in such a long time. I don't anticipate sleeping that well again until I catch a coma from a bountiful smoosh session. I was so excited to go to sleep last night, especially after my preview nap, and I wound up fighting with my new body pillow all night. It was disrupting my sleep and shit. I was not feeling it. As a side note, I named my pillow Sir Lucius Lush Lips and If you talk to me on a daily basis, you know why. There's a bright side to all of this. I woke up this morning without a stitch of back pain, so mission accomplished.

Dix Du Jour: Things I Wish I Had An Interest In Earlier In Life

1. Graphic design
2. Astronomy
3. Science in general
4. Politics
5. Theater
6. The annexation of Puerto Rico =)
7. Crafts like glass blowing or quilt making
8. Hockey
9. Fitness
10. Beer

Books That Changed My Life: The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Tuesday Night's Gem

If I could do this, I'd never stop dancing....ever

Books That Changed My Life: The Phantom Tollbooth

Dix Du Jour: My Guilty Pleasures

1. Chipotle
2. Crime marathons. Specifically Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and Lockup
3. Music Stephanie plays but I pretend not to like
4. Cyper creeping on the interwebs
5. Juiceheads
6. My Blackberry
7. Gadgets
8. Rhinestones
9. Acrylic nails
10. Bookstores

Friday Night Gem

I think I found a new fave.

Dix Du Jour: Cartoons I Love

1. Phineas and Ferb
2. Ni Hao, Kai Lan
3. Spongebob Squarepants
4. Fantastic Max
5. Smurfs
6. The Magic School Bus
7. George and Martha
8. Chowder
9. Scooby Doo [This includes all the shows in the series]
10. Hey Arnold

Honorable Mention:
Ahhh! Real Monsters, Fairly Oddparents, Doug, Ren and Stimpy, Rocky and Bullwinkle

Monday's Gems

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

VMAs 2010 Thingy

Well, well, well. Another night full of industry lackluster that had too much hype. And to be honest, I ate that shit up like Snooki with a jar of pickles. Before the VMAs, I deadened my mind with what seemed like 10 minutes, but was really three hours, of Lego Batman on my 360. But when the clock turned 8, I grabbed a cup of applesauce and a glass of water laced with Benefiber and I was ready to get reckless.

The first VJ to make an appearance was Tim Kash. At that point, I was so thankful for my ability to multi task, because I opened a new tab and read everything I needed to know about him. Yea, he is that cute. But he isn't photogenic. Either way his accent is to die for and he looked adorable in his very well made suit. [Editor's Note: I'm a sucker for a man who looks symmetrical in a suit. When I get married, my groom will be in a John Varvatos, no questions asked.] He introduced Drake, which got me thinking, why the hell did everyone slack off on their entrances this year? No elephants, not entourages, nothing. That's what I like to call "disappointing". Not even Kim Kardashian arrived in her "own" beloved Bentley. But I digress. Drake is looking kind of skinny nowadays, but he makes up for it with a charming personality and the illusion of a huge.....ego.

Unfortunately, Suchin Pak let the masses of brain dead MTV viewers dress her, and it showed. What was supposed to be "high fashion", looked like an Annie Sez original with no shape. Another disappointment, because no matter where I go or what I wear, Asian girls are always wearing it better. As per my notes, I was curious as to how old she really was. After some light Wiki work, I found out that she is in fact 34 years old. Now age isn't anything really, but she should start making plans to transition to VH1 soon. Queue Trey Songz and his shirt. Trey does have some sort of sex appeal. He's doing to this generation, what Tyrese did to us with Sweet Lady. I can appreciate it, but I know those checks are rolling in, so he should invest in a meal. Speaking of pure seks, Jay Sean is legit the most adorable nugget on this side of the Mason-Dixon line. Therefore, I will be taking a vacation to London and find me a crooner of South Asian descent. Yea, he's THAT cute.

My most guiltiest pleasure is Jersey Shore. It hurts my brain so good, and like a battered woman, I keep coming back. Snooki had a refreshed look about her, along with a new hairstyle. Had her hair been blond, I would have thought she was Christina Aguilera. Jenni's breasticles defy gravity, but we all can't be so lucky. Sam, well we all know I feel that her vagina should fall in to a vat of acid in Chernobyl, and then, Ron can do some more devastation by a method of his own choosing. The Situation is a creepy old man. He's not in the least bit attractive, and he should really come off the juice. Vinny just got his heart broken the hour before, but at least he got some camera time. And last but not least, DJ Pauly D. Paul DelVechhio. Pauly D. Pauly fuckin D. His hotness just creeps up on me at all crazy times. Its gotten to a point where I need to hide my kids, hide my wife. I wish guido seks was that good when I was in high school.

More filler, more commercials and what was supposed to be a phenomenal performance from Nicki Minaj. Let's just say that she chose the wrong night to not lip sync. The outfit was wrong, the song was wrong, the special helmet wig was right. But just when you thought it couldn't get much wronger, Will.i.Am's crazy ass come out  in jet-black face. I love Nicki Minaj as much as the next gay, but she just failed. The pre show was over, and I took another bathroom break because Eminem's opening performance featured Rihanna and no good can come of that. [Editor's Note: I just got a strange craving for microwaved eggs and I feel gross about it.] As a host, Chelsea Handler was different. I like her more than I like Russell Brand, so there's an automatic win. I also like that she is obsessed with T.I. and Justin Bieber. She put herself out there, didn't try too hard and at the end of the night, I enjoyed her. Lindsay Lohan made one of those appearances to make fun of her life and show she's attempting to get it together. Hopefully, she slows down, she's too young to die, and old enough to know better.

Taylor Swift is doing an Irish Jig on my last raw nerve. Did she really have to perform the song she made for Kanye West? I haven't really heard anything NEW by her since the "situation". She may have thought that was cute but it is time to move on. That sad ass song did nothing for her and enormous bare feet. Fortunately for us, Aziz Ansari, [Editor's Note: This Indian Boy phase I'm going through will end soon. Maybe] who is actually good friends with Kanye, said what the majority of us were thinking: Kanye's interruption was funny, because real life is funny. His song Runaway was the best song of the night. Linkin Park was also a fantastic addition. The DJ for the show was DJ Deadmau5 and he did a phenomenal job.

Oh and while wearing Alexander McQueen, armadillo shoes and a dress that resembled meat, Lady Gaga won everything.

My VMA Predictions 2010

Best Collaboration: Jay-Z & Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind
Best Female Video: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
Best Male Video: B.o.B. f/ Hayley Williams - Airplains
Best Hip Hop Video: Kid CuDi - Pursuit of Happiness
Best New Artist: Justin Bieber - Baby
Best Pop Video: Beyonce and Lady Gaga - Video Phone
Best Rock Video: 30 Seconds to Mars - Kings and Queens*
Best Dance Video: Cascada - Evacuate the Dancefloor
Video of the Year: Lady Gaga and Beyonce - Video Phone
Best Art Direction: Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
Best Choreography: Janelle Monae f/ Big Boi - Tightrope
Best Cinematography: Jay-Z & Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind
Best Direction: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance [Francis Lawrence]
Best Editing: Rihanna - Rude Boy [Clark Eddy]

Steve Carell is Funnier Than You'll Ever Be

Often times, people try to introduce new things to me. In my own special world, I'm way too cool for these trends. Then, when I least expect it, I fall madly in love with whatever I was trying to avoid. My sophomore year of college, I was living with Casey, who was the me of East Longmeadow. Every Thursday, while I was arguing in the hallway, Casey would be in the room watching The Office. I never watched a full episode and the parts that I did see weren't THAT funny. After me a Casey broke up, I never thought about watching The Office again until my cousin/child Stephanie tried to convince me that it was the greatest show on television. Obviously, I was having none of that. Then after a long awaited Steeler Super Bowl win, I briefly tuned into the new episode was called Stress Relief. It was so chaotic that I turned it off after a good woohaha. Fin.


Eventually, I stopped wasting money and reactivated my Netflix. While beefing up my queue, I added all five seasons of The office, with no real intention of watching them. I really just wanted to find the fire episode that had me LOLzing into oblivion. But since I didn't know what season it was, I had to start from the beginning. After the watching the first two seasons, I updated my resume and sent one to Dunder Mifflin. I want Michael Scott to be my boss. I have a whole bunch of nonsense trinkets from The Office, including but not limited to a Sabre aluminum water bottle. Blanyway, I recently saw Dinner For Schmucks and it was decently funny. I saw the original French version of the film like three years ago, so I already thought I was better than everyone else in the movie theater. 


As we all know, Steve's contract is over at the end of the next season. Dunder Mifflin needs a new office manager, and the only person who I would love to see in that position, mainly so we can get to the bottom of that beef is Toby. I will also accept anyone else who is way less qualified and isn't Dwight K. Schrute or Jim. Either way no one can fill Michael's shoes, so this next and last Michael filled season needs to bring it because I have no problems turning off the television after 30 Rock AND my muffin top is all that. 


Steve Carell: We salute you.

Kiddie TMZ!

This Week's Playlist

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

It'll Change Your Life

After I got Chipotle today, I got to watch this video. I'm so ready for football season